Freedom

I realized. Freedom. I'm not free just because I'm "doing what I want". I'm truly free if I can stop if I want to. Or a counter to that, just because I'm not doing what I don't want does not mean I'm free. If I change my mind, then I need to be able to do that. Only when I can do or not do something based on my choice am I truly free.

If I am smoking, then I'm not truly free. If I have to check my e-mail, then I'm not free. If I can't start doing work when I should, then I'm not free. I am yet bound.

Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Loose these binds of laziness. Of getting what I think I want. Of living for me rather than God.

If I am to be bound, I'd much rather be bound to heaven.

Kibbeh

Kibbeh.
Minced meat, bulgur wheat, onion, garlic, parsley, mint, and spices.  I ate too much.

Late Night Intruder

I woke up.  My eyes were still closed, and it wouldn’t have mattered if I had opened them.  It was 3 at night; or 3 in the morning, if you’re the sick and twisted sort.  I felt the tingling on my spine: an intruder had infiltrated my safe haven.  I tried to clear my mind, focus, and assess my situation.  If the intruder knew I was there and awake, then it may not end well for me, so I did not move a muscle.  The tingling feeling was moving up my spine, and I felt myself fighting the urge to shiver, although I started sweating.  The intruder did not know I was awake, so I had the advantage, but any sudden movements… well, I didn’t want to think about it.  My eyes were adjusting to the dark, but I still couldn’t see from this angle.  I tried to run through the list of the possibilities of the intruder’s identity.  I did not have any weapons directly in reach.  If only I could reach to the bookshelf by my bed; it was too far!

The tingling had moved up my arm, but then it stopped.  The moment was right.  In one swift motion, I jumped up from the bed, turned on the light, and grabbed my weapon.  I knocked a tissue box off the bookshelf in the process.  I faced the intruder.  The intruder did not appear as deadly as I expected, but I felt a wrenching feeling in my stomach.  I felt a bit disgusted and would have preferred a more dangerous adversary than what was before my eyes.  During the split second it took for me to consider this, the intruder made for the way out.  I gave chase, but I was still a bit tangled in my blanket, and this gave an opening for escape.  I knew the intruder would be back.

I started to wonder about what I possess that may warrant such an intruder.  When I realized, I realized the intruder may even bring friends.  The stash I had just acquired and hidden away: it wasn’t protected!  I knew that I had to lock it away if I didn’t want anyone to have access to it.  That night, I went out and got the means to lock away the stash, and so locked up, I felt a lot better.  My personal space had been violated, but now, I had everything taken care of.  Let’s see these intruders try to take away my stash now!  I went back to bed and drifted off to sleep soundly, wondering if the roach had crawled in my bed because of the chocolate, or if it was just the change in season outside.  I still would have preferred a spider or a gecko.  

Day 1

Today is day 1.  A new beginning.  Never mind the fact that it's 9:30 at night and I only have a couple hours left.  It's a new beginning.
Life has new beginnings.  Sometimes, they're easier to see.  Sometimes, it's impossible to notice, even when looking back.  Life is a constant cycle of ends and new beginnings.  Something happened today, will happen today, or is happening right now.  I may have been aware of it, I may be clueless, but that something will change my life.  It will change the world.  The world just hasn't caught up yet.  I haven't caught up yet.

Things will be different tomorrow.  Things will be the same.  I may not notice a thing.  The world may never be the same.  It all started today.  Today is day 1.

Lobster Mornay

Been a long time since I've posted food.  Lobster Mornay with shrimp, mashed potatoes, bread, and some veggies.

Dinner with family.

Swimming Goblin Thieves

I don't remember much from the dream, but I was floating down the river, water slide style.  There were goblins in the river, and they were stealing my gold!

Three Dreams

Yellow shirt and boxers

running, looking for shorts

outside, campus apartment area

trees & grass

found a group of friends. People from church

going to the gym

Went to an apartment for shorts.

Not mine, but a friend's

found my shorts

her roommates came in

girl on my back (piggy-back)

church service (felt like Gainesville church. Pastor Sohn was talking)

girl's mother was at the front

a missionary or something, talking on stage

girl wouldn't get off, and I didn't want her to get off

she was warm

everyone was told to take off their head-wear

I moved bandanna down and wrapped it around as a scarf (it was yellow)

girl was still on my back

There was another dream, but I can't remember it.